One of the most common questions I encounter in homeschooling groups is some variation of "What is the best/ your favorite curriculum for my- insert age(s) of child(ren)?"

We get a few from people pulling their kids from compulsory school at the middle school and high school levels, but far and away the vast majority are for preschool age/early childhood. 

Let's Define "Preschool."

Early childhood, by the way, is a lot longer than schooled people think. Schooled folks usually define early childhood as ages between toddlerhood and compulsory school age, which in the US is as early as 5. Here, we are going to skip the differentiation between preschool/early childhood and elementary school and call it all childhood, and say childhood is about age 3 to age 10, from learning to walk until the tweenage hormones start, AND we are going to go with the oldest compulsory age for school in the US, age 8 (PA and WA). For the purposes of this article, we will define preschool as between ages 3 and 8 years old, and varies between individual children.

Let's say you have a preschool age child (or a few), and you don't want to send them to school.

I get it. While babies and toddlers are, by no stretch of the imagination, easy, almost everyone we know has raised a few or at least been around them, you can turn almost anywhere to ask a question and get at least decent advice. Usually. 

And then, seemingly all of the sudden, all of your mom friends and family are sending their children off to day care, and signing them up for early education programs, preschools, and then kindergarten. You probably went to school. Your child is nearing that age. 

But you don't want to send your child off to school. Not yet. Maybe not ever. For whatever reason(s), school is simply not a good fit for your family. Again, maybe not yet, not right now, or maybe not ever. 

So you know you want to keep them home (GREAT! Even though my youngest says he’s glad we made him go for a year because he would’ve always been curious if he hadn’t, I often wish I had that conviction when my oldest was that age.), and you're out here scouring the internet looking for the best curriculum for your child, because while you can turn to almost anyone for help with babies, toddlers, or schooling, you have no idea how to offer your child a real education OUTSIDE of school. 

So what IS the best curriculum for preschool?

Before I give you my answer, I'd like to answer your question with several of my own. That's how I roll. If you plan to stick around here, you should get accustomed to it, because my job isn't actually to tell you what to do, what you should do, or how you should do it; my job is to guide you on a journey through your own thoughts, desires, and social conditioning, and your job is to decide the best course of action for your self, your child, and your life.

Fair warning, if you haven't given too much thought to school yet, these might be rather thought provoking, maybe even frustrating. I have been called infuriating...

1. What is a good education? What does it include? How does one get one? Where? And, most importantly, why do you believe that? 
2. What information do you believe a child of the age in question should know? Why?
3. Do you believe children in general, and specifically your child, need formal academics, direct instruction, and/or expert instruction? Why?
4. What age do you believe formal academics should be introduced? Why that specific age? Is there room for differences in temperament, desire for learning, and maturity? Why or why not?
5. Are you, or is someone close to you, afraid that if you don't start academics early, or now, that the child will be behind, miss opportunities, or never be successful? Why?
6. Does your child desire the education you wish to offer them? Are they asking you to help them learn to read, do math, or write? If so, great!, move forward until they are satisfied. If not, how do you intend to bribe, coerce, or otherwise force them to do it?
7. Why, exactly, don't you want to send your child away to school? 

I know, deep thoughts. You probably aren't used to thinking this hard. Especially if you are among the schooled folks who believe they hate learning. Also, I know I sound like a toddler, why why why all day why? Take your time, think them through, and be completely honest with yourself. You might want to record your answers; either write them down, or send yourself an email, or record a video or voice memo. Numbers 1 & 7 are the most important to have concrete answers for. Also, your answers will likely change over time, as you and your child grow and change and live; this is normal, and you should of course adjust your life and your child's education to align with your new answers, so come back to the questions periodically.

So what is the best preschool curriculum?

It's a trick question.

The absolute best curriculum for preschool, roughly ages 3-8, even 10 years old, is........... NONE.

Unless the child truly desires to know or learn something, there is no reason for formal instruction, teaching, or academics, AT ALL.

None, zero, zip, nada. 

Now, even as an unschooling forever advocate for educational autonomy, I know unschooling isn't the right choice for every child, every parent, every family, in every life situation. We all have deschooling to do. Even I sent my kids to school, before I learned more about it. 

AND:

Beginning formal academics before age 7 is completely unnecessary. Early academics have no correlation to excellent education, in schools or not, and in fact often impair a person's overall lifetime education by damaging or outright destroying their curiosity and annihilating their sense of discovery, which severely limits their love of learning, and in many cases early forced learning makes students believe they hate reading, are bad at writing, and terrible at math, maybe even that the student themself is bad, stupid, or worthless. True story.

Add to that the fact that children before the onset of puberty are biologically hardwired to remain close to their primary attachment figure(s), always in sight as a toddler, growing further away as they gain maturity, until an older child simply needs to know where their adult is and how to get back to them when they need or want to. Ideally, that is their parent(s), and has been since birth. Why do you think so many children cry when being dropped off at day care or school or even grandma's house? Children are meant to have a constant and consistent attachment figure or two, and not transfer that trust to a new adult, and certainly not every year as they get new teachers to spend their whole days with! Ask any adoptive parent of a young child how difficult it is to gain that trust. Ask any preschool teacher what percentage of children are inconsolable at school, how long it lasts through the day and the year, and what the teachers are supposed to do about it. And do you really want your child giving their trust and attachment to someone who isn't you? Be honest, even if that first teacher is your best friend, how would that feel? And what about every other teacher after that? Strangers, mostly. 

If there's no curriculum to follow, how do I know what my child should be learning, and how do I teach them?

Again, with the questions:

1. See question #2, above.
2. See question #3, above.
3. Do you know how children learn?
4. What is your child's learning style? What is yours? What is your teaching style?

All of the things a child needs to know, including how to read and use basic math, can be learned without curriculum; without bribes, coercion, or threats; without shame, boredom, or tears; and without schools or expert instruction. All the things a child needs to know, including screen safety and cooking, can be learned at home, outdoors or abroad, simply through living life, with you. You are a functional adult, and have the internet at your fingertips, any question they have, you can find the answer to. And that is absolutely true at any age. If you can find information and learn, you can teach them to do the same. 

If you don't understand how people learn (which is how children learn, obviously), I highly highly recommend the books How Children Learn by John Holt, and Free to Learn by Peter Gray. I will not summarize those today. They are both worth reading all the way through, over and over again.

In short, children learn through two main pathways. The first is through the hard work of play: games, sociodramatic pretending, exploring curiosity, any number of things usually seen as not-learning, not-work, and not-productive. Which is a belief we need to deschool ASAP, because we all learn best through play. The second pathway is modeling by a parent, mentor, or other person who knows how to do what the child desires to do. This is the primary way children learn from others, and in combination with play, there is no better way to learn.

Play with your children. I don't just mean dolls and toys and pretend, although those are very important. I mean show them how adults play. If we have been shamed out of a desire to play and have fun, we might call it work. I mean things like tinkering on a car or radio, building a shelf in the wood shop, painting the house, planting and tending a garden, creating a new recipe, hiking a new trail, dancing, telling stories, sewing a costume, whatever you do for fun, let your child see that you are having fun, and include your child to the extent that they are able to be involved, at the level of participation they desire.

A note on play: the reason play is so powerful for learning is that it can be freely exited at any time, this makes the activity feel safe. If children are to learn the material thoroughly, and retain what they learn, they must be free to quit any activity anytime. Requiring children (or anyone else) to do ANYTHING takes the fun out of it immediately, and causes stress instead of fun, both of which inhibit learning and retention, sometimes entirely. If you plan to require learning of any kind, whether math or chores or sports, be advised that you will probably at some point want them to learn more than they want to learn, and have to resort to bribery, coercion, threats, emotional manipulation, or other behavior modification techniques to enforce your requirements, and these tools will damage your connection and relationship with your child. There are ways to connect with them on a level that makes them want to do the things you need them to do, you don't have to be the bad guy. And that can only come AFTER you deschool your educational beliefs and other expectations, because kids can smell pointless a mile away. They know whether or not that floor needs swept for real, or whether that worksheet will help them learn division, or if both are busywork to make someone else's wounds feel better. I can help you both deschool yourself (as well as your children if needs be) and communicate your needs to them in ways that will help them understand why you need them to do certain things. Simply not requiring things they see as useless will go a long way here.

If you want your children to learn schoolish things and academics, model them in your life and let them play with the ideas. Read aloud to them constantly, books, signs, food packages, everything. Verbalize the math you use in the grocery store, at home, and for fun. Let them see you writing lists, journalling, reading, budgeting, cleaning, exercising, eating healthy foods. Name the colors, animals, people, places, objects in your day. Count and sort and create. If they see a skill as worth having, they will learn to do it. If you need examples of this, I can help.

A note on modeling: be careful! Even if you aren't doing it on purpose, they are still learning from you; this is why so many children pick up the bad habits of their parents, whether health, relational, or otherwise. Be conscious about yourself, your actions and habits and language, as well as those of the other people your children spend time with. 

Lots to think about right?

I promise I'll get some form of communication available soon, so I can tell you to direct your questions to me.....